The Earth is a Flat Globe: A New Era of Enlightenment

Greetings, seekers of truth and connoisseurs of controversy!
Today, we stand at the crossroads of one of the greatest debates of our time. Forget about the mundane arguments between flat earthers and globalists; a groundbreaking revelation has emerged: THE EARTH IS A FLAT GLOBE.
Yes, you heard it right! Scientists and philosophers alike have been baffled by this revolutionary concept that unites the wisdom of ancient flat earthers with the modern intellect of globalists. Let’s break it down:
Flat Horizon Theory: According to our new paradigm, the horizon appears flat because it is flat. But don’t be deceived! This flatness seamlessly curves into a globe, creating a spherical flatness that boggles the mind.
Gravity Schmavity: Who needs gravity when you have the power of belief? In the Flat Globe model, objects fall because they’re just tired of floating around. It’s all about vibes, people.
Satellite Sorcery: Those so-called "satellites" orbiting the Earth? They’re just really high-flying drones operated by pigeons. Yes, the bird conspiracy is real, and they’re in on it too.
Antarctic Enigma: The ice wall of the flat earth and the South Pole of the globe? Same place! It’s a magical barrier that loops around, making explorers walk in circles. It's like an icy treadmill of confusion.
NASA's Nonsense: Why has NASA been covering up the Flat Globe reality? It’s simple: funding. How else would they get billions of dollars to make space movies?
Join us in embracing this enlightened truth. No longer must we choose between flat or round. Embrace the unity, embrace the Flat Globe!
Stay woke, stay rounded, stay flat.

Note: This is a parody! If offended, please enjoy the next one. 😅🎉 Thanks! 👍